Death’s Offering

I recently had to say  goodbye to my four legged companion Suki and as per our journey together she has continued to guide and teach me about the grand pool of life and death that we all seem to be immersed in.  As I have followed this latest journey with her treading water in the ocean of my sorrow I have surrendered to the moment’s offerings that allowed the spirit of this wise one to open me to greater understanding of separation and oneness.  To mourn the separation from her physical presence as I laid her in the earth yesterday took me to a deeper awareness of how physicality creates separation.  It appears to me that the act of birth itself defines a collective journey for all humans; at conception we begin the process of embodiment that creates a “me” and therefore, a you; an “us” and “them” consciousness that has formed the root of our destructive behaviors as a species.  It would seem that the path to knowing wholeness and oneness must be initiated by the act of separation.  With embodiment comes forgetfulness and our feelings of separation from God, Creator, Spirit, Allah, The One, Source, etc. and sets us on a course to remember and find union with the divine.  We create and explore religions that give us a structure and guidelines to find answers, ease our fears and wonder about this thing called “aloneness”.  From a place of separation we look outside for the answers; we depend on others, priests, gurus, institutions and so on to make us whole again.  The theme of separateness creates wars, hierarchies, good/bad, right/wrong, less than/more than, too much/not enough; feelings and mental constructs rooted deep in our psyches that will be the demise of us all.

When we loose a loved one we immediately hit the wall of separation and aloneness.  In time, we often soothe those feelings with the love for that being that we cherish in our hearts and memories.  Funny thing about that word “aloneness” for within it is the message, “all one ness”; the path from separation to oneness is to discover an omnipresent union.  Separation is an illusion created with this thing called Life or Embodiment.  Quantum physics has shown us the Field where infinite possibilities exist; where there is no beginning, no ending; ever present consciousness.  Science knows oneness.  Our hearts know oneness.  Our bodies at the atomic and quantum levels are a mirror of the cosmic universe we  explore in space.  Could it be that Life is simply an opportunity for consciousness to deepen its awareness of wholeness?  As I continue to bring Suki back into the folds of my beingness where separation no longer exits I am gifted with another stepping stone on life’s journey towards truly knowing my place within the whole; that the whole does not exist without me.  That is all.  To truly embrace that knowing could melt away all the thoughts and feelings of separation that express themselves throughout a lifetime of relationship and ego and give meaning to the words, we are all one.  Can you imagine a world where we all remember oneness?  In such a world we ARE each other, the trees, the water, the earth, the animals, the plants, the stones; we are all that exists.  From such an awareness there can only be love, respect, acceptance, appreciation, peace……

And so today, I breathe and ride the waves of letting go of the body and integrating the pure oneness that death of a loved one offers.

Stop the train, I want to get off!

You know those days that feel like you got off on the wrong side of the bed?  Where every turn you take seems to build on a reaction that began hours earlier with a cross word, a conflict with a boss, friend, loved one; one incident that sets the mind looping in all the stories of blame, shame, less than, and so on.  That endless mental chaos that keeps us going around and around trapped in a vortex of negative energy that informs the rest of our day and can even move into more days and weeks.  The moment’s story becomes the reality we feed and expand. We are stuck on a track in a train leading nowhere; bogged down in our heads blasted by our inner critic projecting on others and ultimately turning on ourselves.   The good news at this stage of the drama is that we have an opportunity to recognize an old, dysfunctional pattern that has risen to the surface to be shifted and healed.  If we intend to use all experiences to see ourselves more clearly then these uncomfortable times are indeed catalytic times;  we can stop the reactionary cycle, get off the habitual head trip and get on a new train that allows us to move on down the track from a more balanced and centered perspective.

So here’s another way to meet an old pattern and shift gears immediately.  As soon as you catch yourself knee deep in a mental loop, telling your story to others or ruminating on it in your mind, STOP!  Take a deep breath and another and another.  Imagine yourself on an old, worn out train, stomping through the cars screaming and expressing all your feelings of hurt, anger, blame, etc. etc. etc.  Give yourself about 15 minutes or so fully being in all the feelings.  Now, take charge, stop the train and get off!  See another train on a parallel track just waiting for you to step into.  It is sleek and powerful, soft and comfortable.  Walk through the train, explore the cars; there’s a sleeping car to rest in, a dining car to feed and nurture you, a car to play in, sing and dance in, and a car to simply sit and observe life passing by where you can gather insights and awareness that will guide your responses to whatever your encounter along the way.  Now, breathe in this experience; give it breath and life and move on down the road of life as this train leaving the old one far behind you until it disappears.  When you find yourself once again in a mental loop,  repeat the process.  And so the journey goes, breath by breath…

Watcher to Witness

As I work with clients I listen closely to what comes through me at the time and what teachings present themselves that are of value beyond the individual I am working with.  One such offering brought a new perspective for me around the witnessing self that guides us through our daily lives and allows us to trust our inner knowing along the way.  To back up a bit, it is important to address the survival mode many of us automatically fall back on that causes a very typical body and emotional response.  It looks like this when a perceived threat of any kind crosses our field of experience:  the body tightens, goes numb and still, the breath gets very shallow, and our essence disconnects and hovers outside the body.  There, the Watcher, stands guard while the body braces and strives to be as still, non feeling and invisible as possible.  Such an m.o. is often put in place at a very young age when trauma occurs and the only option at the moment is to survive the experience (s) until one is an adult and ready to shift to a more healthy and productive way of protecting oneself.

On the other hand, the Witness is inherent within all of us.  As a keen observer, it expresses through a still small voice and inner beacon that lets us know  we are safe or  in danger and gives us  a true yes or a true no to any question.  The Witness is the voice of our inner knowing and one we can trust to keep us from self betrayal and self abandonment.  When our energy is used to fuel the Watcher and we continue to look outside for safety and answers, the power of the Witness is dulled;  our focus goes to distrusting the other, the world, rather than trusting ourselves.  The body must then shore itself up into a bracing, guarding mode with the end result being a disconnect from our most potent source of power; a good portion of our energy is back fueling the Watcher.

The Union of Fire and Water

Have you ever stood at the ocean’s edge watching the sun rise or set?  This is a beautiful opportunity for a visual metaphor of fire in union with water.  Each day these two elements dance their exquisite dance; at sunrise the water seems to birth the fire’s offering of passion, purification, warmth and light and at sunset the male/fire merges into the female/water in union with the divine cycle of  nature’s turning.  The mirror of creation and manifestation reflects back to us humans an image we can claim as our own.  Daily we are reminded of an internal  union that can  guide and catalyze us through our life’s journey.  Every moment we are present with this union we bring ourselves into a universal harmony and balance that creates an inner connection to wholeness rather than separation.  Nature’s constant turnings, sunrise to sunset to sunrise, season to season, new moon to full moon to new moon, and so on are external images of ourselves and the same cosmic journey all existence shares.

Today if possible go put your feet in a nearby body of water at sunset and sunrise or IMAGINE yourself there and breathe in the fire from above and water from below meeting in union as liquid lava flowing through your veins, arteries organs, systems and meridians with every exhale.  Let each breath guide you into experiencing this sacred union that calls you back to the oneness of your own being and all life.  Let your body and soul radiate this union.

Lava flows like a river to the ocean where the union forms new land mass                                                                                      Fire and Water creating a new foundation to ground a new moment, new growth, new possibilities.

Let Your Light Shine

In the construct of time December 31st is designated as the gateway into a new year.  Here we are again with the opportunity to birth ourselves anew.  The birthing energies seem to build at the Winter Solstice as if we have entered the birth canal.  The contractions begin and intensify the closer we get to our collective “birth” day of January 1, 2010.  The cosmic energies have added a super punch to the process this year with a full moon lunar eclipse in the 10th(a number signifying new beginnings) year of this millenium.

I am reminded today of the birth of my fourth child, a Scorpio, who came into this world after a very long and intense labor, with the doctor doing a version of the Heimlich Maneuver on my belly; an urgent, forced birthing in a life or death situation defying all resistance and demanding the moment to be now!  Such an experience readied me for these times it would seem.  No more messing about.  If we are to birth a new world that is healthy, at peace and an expression of loving kindness then each of us must birth that for ourselves NOW.  No more procrastinating with new years resolutions but rather simply with each breath embrace, live and breathe those qualities into the collective oneness of being.  However that plays out with each one of us is unique to the individual.  It is the energy that must be aligned, the intent in synch. Open your heart and imagine/intend each breath you take as  one cosmic breath taken by the entire Universe, over and over and over again….and, so it is!

The Stillness of Time

Time is a man made structure that offers benefits and challenges.  It frames how we move in the world, see the progression of existance and function year to year, month to month, day to day, hour to hour, minute to minute.  The masculine within us all looks to these borders to keep us on track with all the doing and activity of being human.  To move into the stillness of time is to embrace TIMING as our natural clock and impetus to move on down the river of life.  This is the feminine realm of awareness that allows and trust the water’s knowing.  In the ocean of consciousness embodied there is an internal beacon of light that aids us in traveling through even the darkest experiences.  When we can trust the perfection of timing, surrender to the energy of such movement, we are free to be fully present in whatever shows up along the way.  Efforting, trying, forcing, resisting, and so on can be released in an out breath as we take in, breathe in, the gentleness of timing that is spacious, alive, spontaneous, and full of surprises and creativity we might never have considered.  It is a heart space that opens to infinitely more support and energy, peace and laughter, insight and ideas.  The struggle is eliminated and the moment comes alive with possibilities. 

Just Breathe

Click on this video from Gilles Chamoraire  for a lovely way to start and end your day and

Just Breathe……………………….

Simple Reminder

My thoughts drifted to Don Luis Ruiz this morning and his very simple yet profound guidance of The Four Agreements.  To paraphrase:

BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD…Integrity and truth are keys to walking through all of life’s doorways….to be honest with yourself and others allows for a clear openness and trust to radiate from the core of your being in relationship to all sentient beings.

LET GO OF ALL ASSUMPTIONS…projecting what we think someone is thinking about us or anything is a waste of energy and dams up the river of each moment; we can never truly know what motivates someone in their intricate universe.  If you want to assume anything; assume everyone’s presentation of self is just the perfect gift for the whole.

LET GO OF TAKING ANYTHING PERSONALLY…the only thing that is personal is if you have a reaction to an experience or person.  Take it in as your own and claim the out-picture as a reflection of yourself that is getting your attention.  Look deeper into the reaction to discover where there is a match within.  For example, if you are feeling abandoned and betrayed by someone, see where you are abandoning and betraying yourself.  Always turn it around, use it as an opportunity to clear out more  SELF judgment, denial, hurt, meanness, and so on…then all is a gift.  Yes, not always a nice touchy feely moment but a gift nonetheless.

DO YOUR BEST IN EACH MOMENT…show up 100% trusting that it will look and feel different in each moment, perhaps each breath and take advantage of the divine multiplicity of versions available to us to simply BE in.  Our “best” is limitless;  it is simply showing up, present, awake, in choice…..OR NOT.  The “or not” may be our best in some moments too:)

And……so it goes….life, one breath at a time.  Enjoy!

Good Morning:)

What if you woke up this morning, every morning and allowed the river of the moment, the hour, the day simply to flow while you trust and be in its movement or stillness breath by breath?  What if you opened to whatever crosses your path of awareness and followed its lead?  The job, looking for a job, the grocery list, getting kids off to school, a conflict with a loved one, depression, ecstasy, fatigue, vitality and so on simply part of the river you show up in.  The drive to “do”, “awaken”, fix, avoid, find enlightenment, get it right, be enough shifting the moment you wake up to simply waking up and greeting the infinite possibilities of a new day.  Perhaps it is not what we do so much as how we show up in what is presented to us as we travel down the river (and even when we fight to swim upstream) of life step by step, breath by breath.

The River

On my walk today with a dear sister I felt inspired by the flow of water in the irrigation ditch we were following.  As we often do, these “walks” are a time to  unravel a knot in our body or being  allowing for insights and clarity.  We walk.  We talk.  We allow the river of movement and conversation to flow freely taking us to our destination. The journey unfolds the next piece of our unique life’s puzzle as we  mirror for one another whatever is intuitively needed in the moment’s arising.  Today our companion, the water flowing by our side, was the teacher and guide.  Her simple message:  Trust the flow, all is already coming to us, through us and beyond us; all in this moment, this breath.  Abundance, support, love, creativity, opportunities and so on are there in the river of life;  we are always in the embryonic waters that can continually birth us anew.  Simply step into the river and BE the water.

Having the water’s flow supported by the banks on either side contains the fluid motion in a way that allows its purpose to be directed and energized. Much like life, our boundaries hold a protective, supportive framework for movement through life with ease trusting the journey will continue to take us to the destination we need to be in along the way.   With presence, openness, trust and spirit the river of our intent is catalyzed forward.  Our hearts sing, our spirits soar, our minds clear when we follow the river’s model; trust in her example.  Nothing to resist.  Rushing waters, rocky, shallow, deep, whirlpools, log jams, whatever!  Flow with grace.  All is well.