Four days before the retreat I as well as some other family members received  emails  from my youngest son whom I hadn’t heard from in 11 years…it was his 28th birthday which has been a sad day for me every year he has been gone. The emails were a mix of information about his life since he left the family and his rage at feeling isolated and disenfranchised.  My heart soared for the communication and the door opening to healing and plummeted in hearing his pain and struggle alone without family.  So within these emotional waters I entered into the SH experience knowing full well synchronicity was again the current keeping this journey flowing.  As I entered the world of war veterans working to heal from PTSD, many of them Vietnam vets I was struck by the fact that my son, who has been in his own war on the streets of life was at that very moment living in Vietnam.

As I walked the retreat location called The Expanding Light Retreat Center, the first soldier I met was a young 25 year old Iraq vet with of course the same name as my son…And so the journey began.  I realized not only was I participating as a civilian and family member of a vet (my brother was in Vietnam and estranged from the family) and as the resident body/energy support team member but also as a mother and grandmother holding space for a whole group of young warriors looking for initiation into their tribe in a culture that has no such initiations for such a rite of passage; those young men, fatherless and void of male role models or mothers that could hold the necessary frame to guide them into manhood that rather than choosing the military, chose the streets and all the pain, struggle and horror that experience brings to a sensitive soul. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) comes with trauma whatever the source and requires healing to call back the soul of the warrior (male and female) that got left with blame and shame to carry all alone.

It has been reported that the suicide rate (over 100,000) for Vietnam Vets has now exceeded that war’s actual death toll. and that the pattern is repeating itself with our young Vets returning  from present day combat.  The organization and movement called Soldier’s Heart has a mission to let all these warriors know they are not alone;  that whatever experiences they endured and acted out were done in our name; that their pain and struggle is our pain and struggle and they no longer have to carry the burden of shame, guilt, anger, remorse, betrayal, abandonment, et al alone.  By allowing the stories of their experiences to be witnessed, they can lay down their burdens one stone at a time, lighten their load and begin to heal and breathe again.  They can begin to feel supported and a part of the whole rather than alone and separated from themselves, their families, and life in all its offerings and complexities.
To support the warrior’s healing goes across the board in these times of revolution and transformation whether war began in the family system, on the streets, or in the military and politics of our country.  All the war zones of the world create a burden all humanity carries and calls for the wounded, heavy heart of us all to be healed.  So I came away from these profound five days affirming once again for myself that it is the Warrior’s Heart that must be healed within us all; that the part of all of us that protects, holds a healthy frame, and communicates with compassion and fairness connected to spirit by any name must be restored to its purest state so that the part of all of us, the heart, that opens to receive and give love, that embodies a trust in this physical journey and grounds us on the Earth walk can continue to birth ourselves individually and collectively back into balance, wholeness and peace.

I must also add that years ago in an Ayahuasca journey which left a profound visual and sensory effect on me, I found myself being the Earth, breathing as she breathes, breathing in all the toxins of the world and breathing out a calm, detached neutrality as a loving pool for us all to be held.  It felt to me at the time and still does that each of her exhales support us in an embryonic ocean of love and nurturing compassion; that the dark and the light are one in the same in a world of polarity;  that separation only exists in our mind’s view of embodiment and that the heart knows oneness.  This experience that is deeply grounded in my senses and soul joined my journey through this new breath and became the foundation of the look and feel of it for my mere personality self to be able to apply as a realistic and useful breathing tool.

So, in the interest of sharing another thread of my weavings, here is the breath that surfaced to the level of consciousness for me, keeping in mind that if you are a beginner in meditation and conscious breathing it is best to have already grounded in your breathing practices both the Fire Breath and the Violet Flame Breath; otherwise, whatever breath you personally use to center, deepen, protect and enliven will be your entrance point.
Begin with 3 Fire Breaths: Rest your awareness on the Solar Plexus visualizing your inner sun and INHALE oxygen, aliveness and light into that area below the diaphragm fueling and maintaining that fire and light;  on the EXHALE, expand and radiate that fire and light out from the belly, even from a holographic perspective from every cell, moving out every pore from your physical being to and through your energy bodies and out into the world.  On the edge of this expanding light is always a protective shield/boundary of fire that deflects from your field and body all that is not for your highest good allowing you to reside in a pool of light and expand that space out infinitely knowing/trusting on the edge of this light is a protective boundary of fire.
Next, in further preparation, take 3 Violet Flame Breaths: On the INHALE, draw UP from the Earth through the feet the RED RAY while simultaneously drawing DOWN from the Cosmos through the crown the BLUE RAY, seeing them meet at the HEART;  (keep in your visual awareness that the red ray comes from the liquid lava core in the center of the Earth and also passes through the Solar Plexus on its way to the heart, infusing with her fire, flames from our own inner sun).  On the EXHALE, having joined the red and blue rays at the heart, visualize a violet flame pouring from your open heart out to the world delivering and expanding compassion with each breath beyond your own body, house, community, country, planet and universe; into oneness.

Now, with your heart ready and wide open, imagine yourself as the Earth in whatever way works for you (if might help to do this breath in the beginning lying down until it is grounded in your consciousness).

Rest your awareness at the base of your spine and on the INHALE, breathe in through the heart all the pain and suffering in the world, it might appear as black smoke, a grey cloud, whatever, and let it flow through your heart down a protected channel of light to the base of your spine imaging this area as a lava pool of liquid fire that all the world’s suffering is being poured into;  on the EXHALE, rest your awareness on the heart sending up from this pool, fire and light filled compassion out to the world.  All suffering transmuted into compassionate light with each breath.  Its all in the intention:  our intention flows from where our attention goes.

USE OF THE COMPASSIONATE SERVICE BREATH:

Keep in mind that one can begin this breath as a means to release one’s own suffering as this in and of itself is a gift to the whole.  As a compassionate service offering, rest your awareness and focus on any person, peoples, sentient being,or location you feel drawn to serve in any given moment and simply breathe:

the inhale drawing in the pain and suffering, the exhale delivering the transmuted energy as light and love to its destination.

And, yes, it becomes that simple once the practice of grounding the imagery and trusting the breath and your intention are in place.  Such a practice is unique to the individual and will take on a sensory and visual life of its own. How it developed for me is what I have offered here.  Use it as you will and allow for it to create from your individual catalog of experiences and reference points.  Remember, tis a practice.  Once the practice is secured within your personality and body, it becomes a simple walking, breathing awareness in each moment; at any time, in any place the breath can be serving the oneness of all life at a time on this planet where every bit of conscious compassion is beneficial and catalytic.

My gratitude to you for reading this rather lengthy description of a simple breath and sharing the journey.  Namaste.

The in breath opening, the out breath letting go, releasing, creating more space for the next in breath to draw in more awareness, vitality, clarity, connection and presence.    And so it goes, breath by breath………

Through the shimmering trees, the raven beckons

Calling me to attention…Drawing me into the light of day

Fire in the sky permeating the solar light within my belly

Warming………………………………………Inspiring

And what is it you are wanting me to know my winged friend?

Must I tumble into the void once again?

Hummingbird’s sonic zoom answers my resistance

Embrace the joy she implores

Free fall into the magic of life

There is only love

All is well  *  All is well  *  All is well

BREATHE

Tuning into the solar plexus and inner sun imagine those rays of light and fire forming roots that on every exhale travel down the body and out the base of the spine and the bottoms of the feet going through the floor and into the earth…each inhale strengthening, enlivening the roots; each exhale moving the roots deeper into the molten firey core of the earth mother…..like a tree nurtures and feeds itself through its roots, let every in breath draw up the feminine fire within the earth into your body and cells; each out breath allowing the current of that fire to move towards the male fire of your inner sun in your solar plexus.
Each in breath anchors and unites the feminine and masculine fire grounding your passion to create and manifest deep in the cells of the body; each out breath radiates this union from every cell of your being.  The power and light of your own fire in perfect oneness!!

Fire birthing

In my work of late a new breath has been coming to my attention that feels potent for these times to connect us all to the Earth and our bodies in a more grounded way.  The Fire Breath (see Breathing Practices tab) that brings our awareness to the solar plexus and the image of an inner sun works in an active way to maintain a protective shield, bring clarity and to purify our body and energy field of all toxins while also allowing our light to radiate on our Earth walk;  it is our male fire that manifests and supports our proactive intention to give the gift of our passion to each moment.

Now what comes forth to energize and root is our female fire. To fully choose embodiment in every step and open to a trusting, flowing, river-like  journey as well as to be of service to our planetary home, our connection to the Earth must be attended to.  Bringing the fire of the feminine through our body with the breath begins with an awareness of that molten core of fire that lies deep within the Earth Mother.   To visualize this liquid fire allows us to tap into the creative passion of the feminine within all of us irrespective of our physical gender.  This fire grounds us in our bodies, burns off the fears and survival issues in our first chakras and brings an aliveness to each step.  Here’s the Feminine Fire Breath:

Take 3 deep breaths.  Rest your awareness on the bottoms of your feet and the base of your spine and breathe again; the inbreath opening, the outbreath letting go.

Now, visualize the molten, liquid like core of bright red fire in the center of the earth and begin to see root like strands connected to your feet and base of the spine growing towards that pool of fire and rooting deep within it; like a tree those roots become channels for the life force energy of the feminine to nurture and feed our body and energy field with every breath.

Imagine with each inbreath, you are drawing up that liquid fire through your feet and spine, up your legs and lower body (clearing blocked areas along the way) meeting the fire of your inner sun in the solar plexus;  every outbreath strengthens those roots and expands our feminine light and power throughout our body and being and into the world.  With each breath the union of our feminine and masculine fire radiates a deeper oneness of empowerment and alignment to all life on the embodiment journey.

We breathe our power to create and manifest one breath at a time…

PS:  To take this breath further move to the Violet Flame Breath breathing up the red ray  from the earth (delivering the f/m fire) and down the blue ray from the cosmos on the inbreath meeting at the heart and exhaling that union as a violet flame of compassion and energetic aid to all those in need around the world.

INHALE:  feed and fuel that inner sun and fire in your solar plexus.    EXHALE:  expand that fire to burn off old patterns, maintain a protective boundary and radiate your light as a gift to all.   [See archived articles on the Fire Breath]

Think about the first time you learned how to ride a bicycle.  The task at hand was to find balance in order to stay upright; a hit and miss task for sure but eventually achieving success perhaps even to the ultimate experience of gliding and soaring arms outstretched down the steepest hill with trust and exhilaration.  Such is life inside and out when balance is restored.  And so it begins with each breath, the circle of the inhale and exhale and all this simple action triggers and maintains within our body. . . . and continues with our presence with the waxing and waning of our lives moment to moment.  Like riding that bike or standing in the center of the teeter-totter, once we find our balance it is always there;  the internalized horizontal stance keeps us steady on the vertical inclines or declines.  Meeting the world one breath at a time from a place of internal balance  allows us to stand in harmony with all life.  Begin now. . . Breathe in balance, breathe out imbalance. . .

As above, so below;  As within, so without….one breath at a time in each present moment.